Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Burn

I need to know
Exactly why you did it.
No, you know what?
I don’t give a shit.
You didn’t need to do this
Just because we got in a fight.
I may have had pain
But it was very light.
I know you said you did this
Because I had pain.
But when you told me
It was hurt I began to gain.
When you told me,
I wondered why.
I had so many emotions,
I didn’t know whether or not to cry.
I don’t know what to do.
I still don’t know what to say.
I guess all I have to do
Is sit here and pray.
Pray that you don’t do it again.
Pray that if you do, you’re okay.
But if you do it again,
I really won’t know what to say.
I’m hoping that our fights will stop.
I need you to know this…
I will always love you.
Whether or not it’s me you kiss.
I know we will always be together,
We will always be one.
But if you do this again.
You might as well shoot me with a gun.

Forever

My feelings for you are very strong.
I think the strongest I have ever felt.
I hope you change your mind.
Your eyes make my heart melt.
Your eyes are the brownest I have ever seen.
They are so beautiful to me.
I want to stare into them forever.
You’re the one I want, you see?
There’s no one else my heart desires.
It’s you that I yearn for.
I’m hoping you will give me a chance
And always hold open the door.
The door to relationships,
The door to love,
The door to which I want to go through,
And the door to which I’m dreaming of.
I just hope you give me a chance.
I can be the perfect one for you.
Maybe we can be together a long time
And always share things that are true.

Driving

Driving in the summer is not as bad as driving in the winter. However, it’s still just as dangerous. In the summer, one thing you have to look out for is sand around a corner. You also have to be careful of people driving too fast because they think the roads are good and nothing will happen. In the winter, you have to be careful of the icy and slushy roads, especially going around corners. You also have to watch your speed because you could get in an accident.

Summer and Winter

I like watching the snow fall from the sky when there’s nothing else to do. Of course I miss the summer days, when you didn’t have to bundle up to try to stay warm. The sun was the source of our heat, but now we depend on heavy clothes or even a heated room. I like watching kids play in the snow- it reminds me of when I was younger. My siblings and I used to go sledding down the hill in our back yard. Sometimes my mom would get mad at us for hitting her lilac bushes. We didn’t care, though, because we were having too much fun. I remember breaking the icicles off the house and sucking on them. My dad always used to tell me to be careful of the icicles on the house because they could fall and poke my eye out. I like how the snow looks on certain things. For example, snow on the trees looks amazing. When I’m going down the road, I look at the rooftop of each house I pass and admire the different shapes that the snow has made. When I was growing up, we lived up on a steep hill. Every day that we had to go to school, we had to walk down the hill to get to our bus stop. The bus never came up the hill because it was too steep. Walking down the long, steep hill was horrible because the road was usually icy. A lot of the time, we would slip and fall on our way down. When I got a little older, around 14, my friend Brynn and I used to go for a walk just about every day. During the winter, we dressed warm when we walked to the store. During the summer, however, we usually just wore shorts and a t-shirt. Walking in the winter is completely different than walking in the summer. In the winter, we stared at the snowmen that other kids made, the different sized snow angels, the snowmobile tracks on the river below us as we walked across the bridge, and we had to stop every once in a while to get the snow out of our shoes. In the summer, we looked at the pools that we wished were ours, the warm-looking river as we walked above it, and we had to stop every once in a while to get the sand out of our flip flops.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Will Ferrell

..he's my favorite actor!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Amp Commercial

I love this commercial, which is from the Superbowl. It's awesome.

MY FAVORITE COMMERCIAL EVER!!!

This commercial is SO funny and I just thought I would share it with you.

Touch My Body by Mariah Carey

My boyfriend likes this video.


I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

Hot N Cold by Katy Perry

Monday, November 17, 2008

November 17 part 2

He was born an illegitimate child.
Sometimes they didn't want him.
His father knew he would be a pilot and hated him.
He tried to change him.
With polka dot shoes
The pilot danced around his uncle's house.
Came to depend heavily upon him
Because his father kicked him out.
People needed him to bring their supplies to them
When they ran out.
Pink flats are necessities
Especially when going to the ballet.
He fell in love
With a ballerina.
With selling bonds
He earned lots of money.
Embroidered popover blouses
Is what he bought for her.
Population boom
Is not what he was a part of.
More people had kids
When they saw the ballet.
The sexy shirts were low cut
Which she hated.

November 17

Hell's full of high silk hats.
As well as his closet.
Because he's a pilot.
He wears the best clothes.
Our best-fitting cafe capris.
Just happen to be his favorite.
From one shining sea to the other.
Is our Amber Waves of Grain.
"I Fly"
Because it's my only choice.
Tank tops with pink, red, green, white, yellow, and blue.
All catch his eye.
They found their instrument.
Then found people and formed a band.
"In my plane"
They rehearsed.
Whole and half sizes only
Are what he wears.
A living symbol
Is how he feels when people play him.
The planes are symbols of his career.
Which he began young.
Sit just about hips
And you won't get hurt.

September 22 Journal-Story

Amber was driving home from work one day when her friend Becka called her, asking her to go to the mall with her. She picked her up at her house and they went shopping. When they got there, they went to look at pajama sets for Becka's cousin. Amber saw the pajamas and immediately thought of shopping with Casey and her dad 3 years ago. They all had gone to the mall to shop for Casey's mom for Christmas. Amber and Casey's dad were looking at pajama sets and Amber asked Frank what size she wears. As soon as Frank responded with "Midget Size", two extremely short people walked by. Amber and Frank laughed for what seemed like forever. Amber snapped back into reality when Becka started asking her what she thoughts of the one she was holding. Amber and Casey didn't really see much of each other as they used to because Casey moved in with her boyfriend, which is around 20 minutes from where she did live, and away from Amber. Lately, since the two of the haven't really hung out much or even really talked, Casey has been with her new friend, Jenna. Amber didn't like Jenna because she thought she was ugly and not a good friend for Casey, and that's exactly what she said to them. After leaving the mall, Amber dropped Becka off at home and headed back to her own place. About a mile down the road something jumped out in front of her and she ran it over. She freaked out and stopped the truck. She had a look of satisfaction on her face, but it was also mixed with a look of fear. She realized that she shouldn't have hit her, especially since they just had a fight and it would look like she was intentionally trying to kill her.

September 8 and September 12 Journals

Narrator With Superpowers:
Can Know:
1. What animals say
2. Only transportation is a helicopter
3. Can stretch arms extra far
Can't Know:
1. Can't control future
2. How pain feels
3. Can't drive a car


At Mike and Kristie's wedding, I was near my brother when all of a sudden I heard "Ugh, this nut is so delicious" and when I looked around I saw a squirrel eating a peanut. I didn't want to sound like an asshole, but Donna stepped on my toe during the ceremony-even though all I felt was a tickle, I was still pissed off. After the wedding, my mom was drunk and needed a chair or she would fall on her ass, but I was 50 feet from her. I reached over and grabbed her a chair and she didn't understand how I did it, but she was drunk anyways. She needed a ride home and told me to use her car, but I can't drive! I had to take her in my helicopter instead, and the height made her throw up.

Old Poem from 2 years ago

To Ben Ellison:



Before you came into my life

I always had a new guy.

I was rarely ever happy

As the time went by.



The day I met you

I knew you HAD to be mine.

The way you flirted with me,

I knew it was a sign.



I know the first times we've gone out

Did not go too well.

I think you and I

Have gone through hell.



But this relationship is different.

We see each other a lot more.

Since you've gotten your license,

It's opened a door.



The door represents our futures,

To which I want to spend mine with you.

I hope you feel the same way

And want me in yours too.



I've never felt this way before.

You make my heart race.

I never want to leave you.

I never want my own space.



Every time we've broken up,

I tried to find a great guy.

When I never succeeded,

I always wondered why.



I began to think and realize

That you're the only one for me.

I love you so much.

Without you in my life, I dont know where I'd be.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

My workshop piece due for Halloween Day

My Life

When I was young I had a great life.
I never thought of boys or ever being a wife.
I was always popular and had many friends.
When I got to 6th grade, my friendships came to their ends.
My uncle was a drug dealer, actually he still is.
He’s sold drugs to my friends until the cops got in his biz.
I hate my uncle with a passion that burns fiery red.
He is, to me, my worst enemy. Okay, enough said.
For the past few years I have been called fat.
I never understood who would talk about my weight, but it was my mother, in fact!
She still calls me fat many times a day.
I guess I can see why, and lose some weight, I may.
My parents said I could have a boyfriend when I turned sixteen.
But I don’t think they meant that, especially with what I’ve seen.
I can’t talk on the phone or hang out with guys.
It’s almost as if everything they’ve said has been nothing but huge lies.
I’m sick of all their bullshit and I want to move out.
But I have no job or money and that’s without a doubt.
They think I’m still a virgin and that I’ve never drank.
Will I’m not and I have and I have them to thank.
They give me all my problems to which degree I can’t stand.
I wish that someone, anyone, could lend a helping hand.
Just once I would like to get high to see how it makes me feel.
I don’t expect to get addicted but just one time to deal!
Maybe I’m wrong for wanting to try it.
But just once I would like to say “I don’t give a shit.”
I don’t think I was wanted by my mom or dad.
Maybe I was a made a mistake while they were being bad.
I want to get out of this family, get out of this house.
I feel like my life is the cheese and I’m the little mouse.
The troubles in my life are addicting, so addicting I can’t get free.
I don’t think there’s anyone in my family with much love for me.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Self Reflection

As I re-read my pieces I chose, I realized that there were many mistakes I made: there were spelling and grammar errors. However, that didn’t affect how I typed them. What did affect them is how I worded each sentence on the paper. When I first wrote each piece, I only thought to write down exactly what I was thinking, as soon as it popped into my head. When I typed each piece up I changed how I said a few things to make it sound both better and easier for the reader.

Journal Piece #3

I like how the mound of rocks and sand has formed its own structure. One side is higher than the other and it has a different looking texture than any other mound. I like the circle of rocks around the flowers. There are many different types of plants inside the circle. There are piles of dirt all over the ground around the circle, as if people were recently raking. There are flowers of all sorts of colors: red, yellow, orange, white, and even dead, brown ones. All the flowers move simultaneously with the wind, as if they’re dancing together. There’s a tall plant that is big at the bottom and as you look higher up the plant it gets smaller. There is a tree that is around 6-7 feet tall with dark green to brown leaves. There are leaves that are green-fading to yellow-that look like star fruits. I just noticed on the piece of wood in the middle of the circle that there is a sprinkler-looking device. There are trees of many different colors and forms. There are trees ranging from small to very large. Some are pine trees; some are yellow, orange, red, green, brown; some have no leaves on the-they just have branches. Some trees have branches that seem to just grow straight up. Then there are trees with branches that criss-cross. As I look around, I notice a tree with candy apple red leaves. They are the brightest leaves I’ve ever seen. They are even brighter than these red flowers in front of me. The buildings have the same color scheme-which I’m pretty sure that’s how it’s supposed to be. They are gray, white, beige; some even have a rock structure.

Journal Piece #2

I was at my brother’s wedding-Mike not Jason-and it was weird. Everyone never really thought he would be the first one to be married. When I first heard that he and Kristie were engaged, I was really surprised. Everyone kept saying that I will be the next one because Ben and I are practically married anyway. I was really shocked that Mike truly did get married. I am really happy for him, though, and I was proud of my big brother on that day.

Journal Piece #1

My dad bought me a car that is a piece of junk. Our really old bathtub must have been in my car at one point. If I ever got in an accident like the scenario in the picture, my very short mom would kill me. I would probably be listening to “You Shook Me All Night” by ACDC and right next door there is a dance floor with people dancing to that song. My dad would be with me in my car, saying “That was a cool ride!” At the scene of the accident, there’s a guy staring at us as if he’s the one who caused it.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Books

So.. I'm in the process of reading Odd Hours by Dean Koontz and so far it's amazing. He is my favorite author. I've read probably 12 of his books and I own around 35 so I'm excited to read the rest and see what else he's written! Has anyone else read any of his books?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Art Presentation


A Toast to the Men
by Edgar Albert Guest

Dedicated to the Women


Here’s to the men! Since Adam’s time
They’ve always been the same;
Whenever anything goes wrong,
The woman is to blame.
From early morn to late at night,
The men fault-finders are;
They blame us if they oversleep,
Or if they miss a car.
They blame us if, beneath the bed,
Their collar buttons roll;
They blame us if the fire is out
Or if there is no coal.
They blame us if they cut themselves
While shaving, and they swear
That we’re to blame if they decide
To go upon a tear.


Here’s to the men, the perfect men!
Who never are at fault;
They blame us if they chance to get
The pepper for the salt.
They blame us if their business fails,
Or back a losing horse;
And when it rains on holidays
The fault is ours, of course.
They blame us when they fall in love,
And when they married get;
Likewise they blame us when they’re sick,
And when they fall in debt.
For everything that crisscross goes
They say we are to blame;
But, after all, here’s to the men,
We love them just the same!

http://poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=176676

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Crap

I feel like crap!! Almost everyone on campus is getting sick; I was sick last week and it went away, then my boyfriend got sick and his cold is about 5 times worse than mine was. I'm now getting sick again and it sucks so bad! I hate being sick..

Monday, September 15, 2008

work

So... my week for work (cashier at Potsdam P&C) has sucked major ass.. Wednesday night-Saturday night I had to work until midnight and it was so horrible. Being sick, it completely wiped me out. Tonight I worked until 11 and it sucked as well.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

art presentation

I still don't know what to use as "art" for the presentations... I'm not really an "art" person so I'm not sure what to do. Help!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

so...

...I only have my business class today and I'm not sure if I want to go or not.. he doesn't take attendance, we basically teach ourselves, and it would be a waste of gas to go to school for just one class! (I would have Sociology but she's out of town.) School is really tiring me out this semester. =[